Liebster Blog Award Nomination #2 from Fujoshika over at Fujoshitep

Liebster Blog Award

Check out Liebster Blog Award Nomination #1!

Liebster Blog Award Nomination from Fujoshika.

1. What is your biggest fear?

For a time believe it or not my biggest fear was that I would never find a purpose in life or that I would never find something that could complete me but recently I came across a surprise that has changed this. All thanks to anime.

The thing is no one really knows much about this but I suffer from deep depression and high levels of anxiety. It’s terrible enough that I often get uncontrollable negative thoughts that can in fact make me suicidal. This is quite common for those who suffer from depression. Simply because anxiety and depression feed off each other in a vicious cycle. Thankfully being depressed and anxious has never allowed me to do anything horrible to myself or worse since I am strong enough to quiet the negativity. A negativity that stems from a dissatisfaction with life in general.

Music helps. Anime and manga helps. Reading helps. What I do notice is talking to other people unlike what many people tell you is not actually helpful because people never really understand where you are coming from which only hurts more. Their way of thinking about depression is often shallow or stereotypical. I mean if you are depressed you’re emo as in emotional, right? Not that there is anything wrong with being emotional. That is stupid because I know for a fact many of the people who have known me in passing, I bet, many never even thought I could possibly be depressed or that anything was wrong.

2. If you could spend the rest of your life doing one thing, what would it be?

Reading books and gardening. I enjoy getting outside and gardening. I once tried to grow gladiolus and they were beautiful until my cousin came over and stomped on them. Since then I have not tried. Though I would love to try again. It was fun.

3. What anime/manga would you always watch/read?

In manga, Devils and Realist by Madoka Takadono and Utako Yukihiro. In anime, I would always be willing to watch more Psycho-Pass or My Teen Romantic Comedy is Wrong As I Expected.

4. What got you into anime?

It was around 2005-2006. I was watching Toonami which is where most of us anime fans in the USA watch our anime and I came across Spirited Away on TV. During 2005-2006 Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away was being heavily promoted and I happened to later tune in on the movie. It was the best decision I made! I remember being so happy by how visually and content rich Spirited Away was that I cried. And if you know me I mostly only ever cry when I am incredibly happy or find something beautiful. I am not sure why I do this? I think it may be because I am so overcome with emotion like when I watch Titanic or listen to TK from Ling Tosite Sigure‘s music.

5. How did you react to your first yaoi manga/anime?

I was pretty excited. I remember being open about it and thrilled about the discovery of the genre. Go Yaoi! Though weirdly enough I cannot recall the title of my first Yaoi manga or anime. I have terrible memory I know.

6. Which genre do you like the most in anime?

Mecha, Science Fiction, and Slice of Life.

7. What is your favorite color?

Green. Then Blue.

8. What sort of antagonist do you find the most interesting?

The tortured ones. I don’t know it just fascinates me.

9. What is one thing you love about yourself?

Whah!? I am not really sure. I can’t think of anything.

10. If you could redo one moment in your life, what would that be?

A lot. Not sure what actually.

11. Do you think you will ever outgrow anime/manga?

No. It is something that I have too much of an emotional investment in even if right now I am sort of not reading or watching anything.

Blogs I Nominate

1. Never Argue with a Fish | I have only been following Never Argue with a Fish for a while but I think many of the reviews on the blog are knowledgeable. All well-written despite being longer than most reads but hey I would much rather a great review that is long than a fluff one.

2. Asian Addicts Anonymous | I have read two blog posts on the evils of copying another blogger’s work and I thought that was good advice on why this should never be allowed. Don’t copy other people’s work even if we are on the Internet. Give credit where it is due. Better yet write original work.

3. Pon De Way Way Way | Given my recent TK from Ling Tosite Sigure and Ling Tosite Sigure craze I stopped by the blog and heavily enjoyed a review of Ling Tosite Sigure: Ling Tosite Sigure: i’mperfect – Album Review

I'mperfect by Ling Tosite Sigure [album]

4. Let’s Talk Anime | Fellow blogger on anime!

5. Kim’s Pensieve | Me and Kim know each other from my stressful book blogging days.

11 Random Facts about me

  • I am 20 years old.
  • I can read for more than 4 hours in a day without stopping at times.
  • I enjoy taking selfie photos of myself.
  • I am too much of a realist for my own good.
  • I tend to talk aloud when I am excited. I know. Weird.
  • I love coffee and tea equally.
  • Reading, watching, or listening to stuff that is depressing keeps me calm.
  • I hate loud noise or too much chatter.
  • I hate crowds of people.
  • I enjoy reading philosophy and psychology books from philosophers and such well-known figures like Sigmund Freud. While disturbing for some. His insights in The Interpretation of Dreams has much basis. Can’t wait to read Civilization and Its Discontents.
  • I love drinking beer.
  • Pop Culture: The Avengers movies, The Walking Dead TV series, Bates Motel TV series, The Strain TV series, How I Met Your Mother TV series, Friends TV series, and comics are my life. I love this stuff. In other words, I am a Pop Culture nerd.

Blog Award Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog
  • Display the award on your blog (like under the widget options)
  • Answer the 11 questions given to you by your nominator
  • Post 11 random facts about yourself
  • Nominate 5 – 11 other bloggers that you feel deserve the award (who have less than 200 followers)
  • Create 11 new questions for your nominees
  • Contact your nominees and inform them you have nominated them for the award!

My Created Questions

  • What is your blog’s direction?
  • What country are you from?
  • Favorite genre in anime and why?
  • What do you hate?
  • What are the things that make you glad to be alive?
  • How far do you and anime go?
  • How far do you and manga go?
  • Have you read any light novels?
  • What are your thoughts on the rise of the light novel trend?
  • What are your plans for the next months ahead on your blog?
  • Latest anime or leisure activity you are immersed in?
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9 thoughts on “Liebster Blog Award Nomination #2 from Fujoshika over at Fujoshitep

  1. Pingback: Liebster Blog Award Nomination #1 from Takuto over at Takuto’s Anime Cafe | The Huge Anime Fan

  2. Can I just say I think you are incredibly brave for writing about your depression so openly. I don’t think I could do that. It must be hard to deal with that and to tell people about it. I see what you mean that it doesn’t always help talking about it, because everyone has different experiences with depression. I hope you feel better and wish you all the best in the future (:

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    • Thanks. I mean even in real life I wouldn’t be embarrassed to bring up depression but I can tell people don’t want to hear it. I am not saying all people are like that but most individuals will likely feel uncomfortable. I mean it does have to do with emotional problems and behavior after all.

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  3. random question: in the previous nomination you answered that you wouldn’t give your past self advice because there was no point in looking at the past but here you mention that you would redo a lot of moments in your life, why answer differently if the questions are pretty similar?

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    • It’s a self contradiction. I am not sure why but I am very weird that way. It is similar to how I dislike dogs because they bark at me but at the same time I want to genuinely like them.

      A better way to make sense of those two answers is I would want to change things in my past but at the same time I know they cannot be changed and I realize I should just suck it up and accept things for what they are. A contradiction!

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  4. Wow! these are very thought provoking Q&As. You know there are times in my life I thought about Depression vs Sadness coz I feel like they’re the same but what I learned and discovered is that they aren’t since depression can go for a very long time as for sadness goes away. For me I think socialization to people helps the most since before I’m used to talking to a large group of people/friends but ever since I moved/travel a lot things changed also it’s normal to feel sad and alone sometimes just don’t let those things get into you life is good and these things shall pass ^_^

    I’d also like to answer some of those questions here:

    1. Sharks and creepy crawlies
    2 This is a tough one…reading I guess haha
    3 Cardcaptor Sakura and Chihayafuru!
    4. 90s anime like yu yu hakusho,dragon ball z,slam dunk,ayashi no ceres etc.
    5. Surprised! and usually the characters are so hot and cute now I know and see the appeal of it all.
    6. Shoujo,Shonen and Slice of Life
    7. Navy Blue
    8. Hmm…Rival types that never wins haha
    9. Ugh I dunno..mayhaps my positive outlook in life? xD
    10. another tough one hmm..maybe 2010 I should have studied more
    11. NEVER! AniME is life!

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    • It is a mistake many people make. Sadness and depression are not the same and that is what I was getting at that I see as stereotypical. When you have depression it continues to last for a long time. You are always in that emotional pain. Ruled by your feelings of guilt, sadness, speeding thoughts, emotional numbness, and anger. All of this leads to anger at yourself easily. You start to hate yourself because you cannot stop this. You cannot stop your own mind from rebelling against you and feeling like you are going crazy.

      I noticed I had depression before beginning middle school. I think this is because I became self aware by then as a human being. Though I did not know I was depressed and anxious for quite a while. I think inside I knew but I was in denial since that would assure myself that I was weak and lacked self control. Yet I realized that all these horrible thoughts and feelings were unconscious.

      Yeah. You are right being social could help but I think that is if you can handle social situations. I on the other hand struggle with social interactions. I can do it but it causes more anxiety making me feel bad about myself and causing more depression. What helps with me is distracting myself with all types of Entertainment and when I cannot then I just force myself to go through the motions each day. Even so, I think what keeps me going is that I know the root cause of my guilt. It is something from my childhood. Though unfortunately I wont ever get over it because it is from my past and I cannot really change that even if I wanted to. It’s too late. That is life.

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